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This is directed *by* someone's poast, but not directed *at* them, if that makes any sense. It was just something that percolated to the surface when I read their words.
You miss someone...as much as you miss them. There's no gague, no scale, no flow chart. There's no rule anywhere that says 'after X time, you're only allowed to feel at Y level.'
It's drummed into us to 'get over it', or that time heals wounds, and that's bullshit. Grieving, loss, trauma, dealing with 'it', takes as long as it takes, and doesn't need to take anymore or less time than that.
What we do learn, over time, is how to keep from being paralized by the loss, how to keep from being consumed by it so that we can't see beyond the end of what we knew to be true. Doesn't mean that the loss won't sometimes wash over us like a sneaker wave at the coast, and drive us to our knees with pain, but it moves from being a constant hurricane storm, to constant waves, to waves that lap at our ankles, and are sometimes stronger than we expected.
The pain of loss never truly goes away. How could it? In finding someone Beloved, you make room in your heart and soul for them. When they are gone, there is no part of you that has not been touched by them. Even if it's not a wound, left raw, there will be places in you that are still graced by their touch.
You miss someone...as much as you miss them. There's no gague, no scale, no flow chart. There's no rule anywhere that says 'after X time, you're only allowed to feel at Y level.'
It's drummed into us to 'get over it', or that time heals wounds, and that's bullshit. Grieving, loss, trauma, dealing with 'it', takes as long as it takes, and doesn't need to take anymore or less time than that.
What we do learn, over time, is how to keep from being paralized by the loss, how to keep from being consumed by it so that we can't see beyond the end of what we knew to be true. Doesn't mean that the loss won't sometimes wash over us like a sneaker wave at the coast, and drive us to our knees with pain, but it moves from being a constant hurricane storm, to constant waves, to waves that lap at our ankles, and are sometimes stronger than we expected.
The pain of loss never truly goes away. How could it? In finding someone Beloved, you make room in your heart and soul for them. When they are gone, there is no part of you that has not been touched by them. Even if it's not a wound, left raw, there will be places in you that are still graced by their touch.
